With closed eyes I feel the salty kiss of the ocean waves

I feel my heart pounding , am I only dreaming, give me your hand, tell me I am only dreaming

The storm is brewing – the waves are bashing against the weight of my body
The whole force engulfs me
I am struggling, wobbling, holding on with all my strength, no lifebuoy, no hand to hold
The salty water permeates my skin
I feel life being slowly taken away, but I am fighting hard to hold on

I’ve been lied to so much
It hurts to much
I feel  I’m going to keep falling
I can’t bear the agony
How tortured I feel
Don’t deny me the torment I am going through

I keep it inside because it’s too hard to explain

But I know that my happiness is real
When I actually feel it… so
I feel like I’m going insane
Like everything in this life I’ve lived
Is wasted
Like I’m slowly perishing
It’s too hard to explain
I just know what I know

I need the torture to end

Am I only dreaming?