Am I Dreaming ?


With closed eyes I feel the salty kiss of the ocean waves

I feel my heart pounding , am I only dreaming, give me your hand, tell me I am only dreaming

The storm is brewing – the waves are bashing against the weight of my body
The whole force engulfs me
I am struggling, wobbling, holding on with all my strength, no lifebuoy, no hand to hold
The salty water permeates my skin
I feel life being slowly taken away, but I am fighting hard to hold on

I’ve been lied to so much
It hurts to much
I feel  I’m going to keep falling
I can’t bear the agony
How tortured I feel
Don’t deny me the torment I am going through

I keep it inside because it’s too hard to explain

But I know that my happiness is real
When I actually feel it… so
I feel like I’m going insane
Like everything in this life I’ve lived
Is wasted
Like I’m slowly perishing
It’s too hard to explain
I just know what I know

I need the torture to end

Am I only dreaming?

Where the wind don’t blow

WHERE THE WIND DON’T BLOW

My home is a place where the wind don’t blow. My heart rests in the place where the wind don’t blow. Strange place a home, strange place where gentleness calms the wind, its a point on a bleak horizon. How can my home be this way – most priceless- yet most defenceless – most valuable -yet most valueless – most welcoming- -yet most forbidding. Tread softly – the walls breathe peace, deep, dark peace, and where the wind don’t blow.

KBC Bank This is my Voice – Up Date

Night or Day

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Is it night or day?
That’s moon or sun?
Well, anyway,
I have to run.
I see the tears.
Don’t cry, my eyes.
I feel my fears,
I feel them rise.
I have to go,
I know it now

I awaken in a dream, where my sadness does not allow the light to reform
My body is weak and pale against the birth of the day
Staring down into the deepness of abyss

A crimson sky of city follows me to reveal my diminishing soul
A life shunning out the city glow  dwells deep inside me
The guardian of my breath the pen mightier than the loneliness

How did I let it come to this?