Month: October 2013

Then – I want to Scream

~ Patricia Tsouros
Image: Ed Hodgkinson
Image: Ed Hodgkinson

I sit here alone
wondering where my life is
where it all went wrong
despair haunts me
how I got involved
why I lost what love is

The days go on
just one at a time
waiting for the
goodbye to all the anxiety
to anger with myself
for surely I have suffered enough
through all these months

left unprotected
so lost
lost by your embrace
haunted by your words
I search around everywhere
for the passion and hopes of life
searching for the day chaos
no longer in my head
perhaps I won’t feel so lost

I feel I am finding my way

Then

I want to scream..all I want to do is scream
I want my anger to go away
but its like a blazing flame
I want my despair to leave me
but I am drowning in pain
I want my sanity back
but I don’t know where to find it

“I AM Sorry”

~ Patricia Tsouros ~ 1 Comment
Dominic Bell Singular Wave
Dominic Bell Singular Wave

*The story of Lampedusa – The tragedy of desperation: vergogna – shame*

It was a cold dark night
Sailing for Hopes for Dreams
An Island beyond the sea
A home of victory
A home that will
Now never be yours
Flashes of light
In the torrent of the sea
Father and child
Held on tight
Struggled for their dream
Before my eyes
I saw their dream die
In the cold black pit of the sea
I want to say
I am Sorry

I am Sorry
To all voyagers
Of despair and courage
Their lost Hopes and Dreams
Crossing to
An Island beyond the sea

To the Hundreds of Souls lost on the journey to Lampedusa

Fancy As Fuck

~ Patricia Tsouros

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Fancy As Fuck
FANCY AS FUCK

I knew something was not right. I went in with a sledge hammer challenged the truth and you put the phone down. Me in London, You in Dublin. One day to our planned London Weekend.

I came in like a wrecking ball
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung
Left me crashing in a blazing fall
All you ever did was wreck me
Yeah, you, you wrecked me

I never meant to start a war
I just wanted to know the truth
I wanted you to tell the truth
I couldn’t live a lie; I was running for my life

Paul, when you put the phone down on me on Wednesday night Oct 10th followed by a solicitor’s letter the following day, that was abuse. That letter was profoundly nasty. It was all a lie, just like, as I now know, the rest of our relationship was. You went to the Garda, anything just so I would not discover the truth.

Your abuse is not without it’s consequences. I needed you to tell me to talk to me. I don’t feel revenge, anger, hate; I just feel utter shock, used, physically abused and mostly devastation.

But you know what, it hurts like hell, but I will fight back and I will find my way out of this abuse. I find it hard to believe you want me to suffer like this. Now I know you ‘Fancied Me As Fuck’. Why not just be straight up? Why all the lies? Why not give me the chance to walk away when I wanted to?